being human.....

Being a Tennessee Titans football fan I was taken back by my despondency at their loss this past Saturday. I know football is just a game and has no significance in the eternal scheme of things. I became quite perplexed (at myself) for the dark frame of mind that captivated me. As I attempted to understand my own ridiculous mental state I was thrust on a interesting journey of self perspective. I had planned on the Titans going to the Superbowl and had arranged my schedule so I could watch all games leading up to the big kuhuna. I came to grips with the reality that I spent much of my time looking forward to certain events or activities. If I have a golf date planned on Thursday I will begin to count down to it about Tuesday with the anticipation one has for finally reaching the cherry filling on a tart. It seems that I simply endure or pass time in pursuit of something pleasurable. I find that dread works much the same way. I am not a fan of doctor appointments, funerals, or weddings (anything formal for that matter). The dread I feel when approaching such occasions will occupy my consciousness until the dreaded event can be marked off my list as accomplished. I have been kicking myself for such attitudes until the Holy Spirit rescued me by way of bringing a scripture to mind.

Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

While the things that motivate me are often trivial (enjoying a tennis match or getting past a dental appointment) it is liberating to know that looking to, or even past, future events is simply human and God understands our humanness. What am I trying to say? I guess that I often have too unrealistic of expectation about my own spirituality. I often find myself at a place I feel I should have grown past. The truth is I am human and experience life as a human. I must correctly discern falleness and not give it permission. However, I must grant myself and others the luxury of being what we are. Human

mickey mooney